I spent the better half of this weekend huddling under my covers hiding from the freak snow storm while watching quality television. Usually my quality television means Dance Moms and TLC reality programming, but this weekend it was crime serials. Multiple marathons of Criminal Minds, NCIS and Law and Order kept me distracted from the fact my father refused to turn on the heat. Nothing makes me happier than when they slap the cuffs on the bad guys and go home smiling. Never do they mention the emotional trauma these poor victims will go through for the rest of their lives. In a span of 60 minutes justice is served by extremely good looking people. Shemar Moore and Chris Meloni are two officers that I would not mind dealing with, even if the circumstances weren’t favorable.
Anyway, I was minding my own bushiness in my living room when outside the window I spotted a black car. The driver sitting there, staring at my house while chatting on the phone. For the first few minutes I ignored him and tried to focus on the people getting knocked off my show. As time went by, the show got more intense and lurker was still in place. It was as if the intense, creepy music on the show was timed to my wandering mind peering from my couch. When my best friend came over, she made a passing comment about the car as well, confirming my fear that this stranger was some sort of unsub. After a short debate of the lurker’s intention, we decided to take action before we ended up on a Lifetime Movie. That action included locking the door, and running down to the basement to alert my father to do something manly. Keep in mind my dad is like an old teddy bear with bad knees. If he was our only hope, we were officially screwed.
After he limped upstairs to appease us, he took one look at the car and shook his head. Turns out it was our neighbor’s daughter’s husband, whom I’ve never met. Once he made fun of us for a few minutes, he went back downstairs to his man cave as we waited till our non-unsub drove away. Mostly we were relived that we would be able to live another day, but part of me was a bit bummed my investigative skills were so off track.
So word of advice, if you plan to watching crime shows all weekend surround yourself with people who will remind you that not every stranger is an unsub/serial killer/criminal mastermind.